Motherhood So Far

I had a friend ask me today how motherhood was treating me. I told her the first adjective that came to mind. Tiring. Motherhood is tiring. She said "You're supposed to say it's fun!".

Yes, motherhood has had some fun parts but seriously. It is tiring. It is never ending. Not only are you physically tired because sleep? What's that? But you're also emotionally and mentally drained. You're worrying about everything all the time. Is he eating enough? Is pooping enough? Is he pooping too much? Why is he spitting up so much? Is he going to be completely codependent because he has slept in his swing/bouncy seat for the entire 2 months he's been alive? And if you're not worried about the baby you're worried about if you're ever going to lose all that weight (even though it has only been 2 months), and are those stretch marks ever going to fade? THEN you have to worry about if you're neglecting your husband. Does he feel left out or replaced? Is he ever going to find you sexy again?

But then you're rocking your baby at night and you're singing to him and he smiles at you in his sleep, or you're making faces at him while you're playing and he smiles and laughs. Or you walk in to his room and see his daddy rocking him and reading him a bed time story.

And suddenly you're not tired anymore.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord

Plans to prosper you and not harm you.

Plans to give you hope and a future"

                                                              - Jeremiah 29:11

I grew up in a house where I heard "God's timing is perfect", "God has a plan", "Everything comes together for His good". I know these things and believe them completely, and yet when it happens I'm still blown away.

Ryan and I were driving to meet a friend when I looked at him and told him we should try to have a baby. We hadn't even been married for a whole year yet. He looked at me like I was insane and somewhat reluctantly agreed. It took us 9 months but one morning I decided I should take a test. I had taken many since we started trying and they were all negative but I was going to go to a friends house and drink some wine that night so I thought I should just double check to make sure. And it was positive. Holy crap. What had we done?! We don't make much money, we live in a tiny apartment. WHERE AM I GOING TO PUT THIS BABY (we still don't really have an answer for that last question)?! But God had a plan. He intentionally made us wait to get pregnant for 9 months, because that was part of His plan. Again, I knew that but seriously God... what's the plan?

A little back story in my career (stay with me, there's a point and I will get to it, I promise). I have been with Rent-A-Center for almost 2 years. In that 2 years I had numerous opportunities and interviews for leadership positions in the call center I worked for. I would interview, they said I was awesome, but I didn't get the job. I was very frustrated and pretty defeated. But again, God had a plan. Turns out those positions I had applied for would have required me to work longer hours, the schedule would not have been very flexible and I would have had to work weekends. Not at all ideal for raising a family the way I wanted to raise my family. Then, a position opened up for a different department. A position I had been waiting for since shortly after I started at RAC. The hours were flexible, the team was awesome and there was a pretty significant pay raise. I applied for the position and had my interview which went really well. I waited and waited and waited. While I was waiting Ryan got a promotion and a raise. I continued to wait to hear about my promotion. I waited for 4 weeks. I REALLY wanted this position. And I start tomorrow. God had a plan. That plan included BOTH of us getting promotions and raises within weeks of each other!

I knew He had a plan. I knew He didn't just give me a baby and say "K. Good luck with that.". I knew He would provide but as many of you know, patience is a virtue but it is not one that I process. All of this to say, I start my new position tomorrow and am extremely grateful that my God loves me and provides for me and my family. I am very fortunate for all the things He has provided for me and cannot wait to see as He continues to reveal his plan to me.

17 Weeks!

17 weeks preggo and Baby Bonney is now the size of an onion, or about 5 inches long! Baby B's brain has started regulating its heartbean, instead of letting it beat willy-nilly. Baby's cartliage is starting to turn into bone and its brain is working on developing his or her senses. Wanna hear something super weird? If Baby B is a girl, she is already producing millions of eggs. WEIRD.

17 week bump!

I went to sleep last night feeling like my usual blobby self and woke up this morning with this big 'ol baby bump! Where the heck did this thing come from?! Today is the first day I feel like I look pregnant and not just fat. I can still feel the baby kick every now and then, although it's not every day. I usually feel him or her around 5 or 6pm and then again around midnight. In a few weeks Baby will start to hear some sounds. It's kind of fun (and a little terrifying) to think of what the first sounds it hears will be. It's becoming more real that it's going to be MY responsibility to raise this little kid in to a respectful, fully functioning adult. So basically if I suck as a mother, my kid is screwed. No pressure.

15 Weeks!

Another week down! We have made it to week 15!

Baby is now the size of a large navel orange, roughly 4-4.5 inches long. Baby Bonney is practicing breathing by swallowing amniotic fluid and is peeing every 45 minutes or so (we're going to go through a lot of diapers if it doesn't chill out with the peeing).

I can definitely feel my uterus when I poke my stomach, which is really weird. It kind of just randomly appeared. I can't feel any movement yet, although that should be happening in the coming weeks so that's exciting. The nausea is MUCH better but it does make an appearance every now and then. Currently the biggest symptom I'm experiencing is lower back pain. Pain seems like too mild of a word for it though. I have been getting this paralyzing stabbing in the lower right side of my back when I put weight on my right leg. Last night it was at its worse and I couldn't walk. I became very good at using the furniture and walls as a crutch to be able to get to the bathroom. I have my first ever appointment with a chiropractor tomorrow and I'm hoping that will help. Insomnia is still an issue too and I'm hoping at my appointment next week we can figure out something for that as well.

We find out if Baby Bonney is a boy or girl on July 15th. Does anyone have any guesses? Ryan thinks it's a boy. I still have no clue.

Hello second trimester!

We did it! We made it through the dreaded first trimester and we're just a little worse for the wear. Hopefully the morning sickness will ease up, although I was feeling sick this morning so we'll see.

Baby Bonney is now the size of a troll doll, about 3.5 inches long and weighs about 1lb. Baby B will be doubling in weight every week, which means the one pair of non maternity pants that still fit will be moving to the back of my closet soon. Ryan is pretty convinced it's going to be a boy but the further I get the less I care about gender. As long as baby is healthy and doesn't completely distroy my body, I'll be happy.

Less than 6 months to go!

Soon-to-be Sport Bike Wife

Ryan has wanted a bike for YEARS. Until recently we hadn't been in a place where he could actually get one BUT things change.

In a way I'm excited for him. He has wanted one for a long time and I know this is something that will make him very happy, which in turn makes me happy too. I'm looking forward to riding on the back of it (stop freaking out Mom). I've ridden on the back of our friends bike and it was a blast!

But.

There's this voice in the back of my head that keeps reminding me this is dangerous. Really dangerous. There will be a day that I will get a phone call "Hi. I'm on the side of I-35 and my bike is totaled. Can you come get me?" It might not be on 35, but that phone call is coming and that terrifies me. He has already wrecked once and I was there to witness him flipping over the handlebars. Not exactly something I want to relive.

It's happening though and I'm excited for him. And terrified. And excited. And terrified. Get the picture? He will be happy, at least until he wrecks.

Wonky and Woot-tastic Wednesday

It Wednesday!!! Let's get to it!

Wonky

    - Living with a man isn't bad or awful but there are some down falls. Sharing a bathroom with a man is gross. Since he's tall and I'm short sometimes he puts things out of my reach and I have to climb on things to get them down, on the plus side when something is on a high shelf at the grocery store, I don't have to climb shelves to get it. The most recent down fall I've discovered is when he closes things. Jars or bottles suddenly become impossible to open because he closed them so only a man with super human strength could open them again. It's not all bad, but those 3 things, so far, are the worst.
    - I agreed over a month ago to hedgehog sit for a lady while she went on her honeymoon, which is fine. No big deal. Then mom and dad had to take an emergency trip to Mississippi, which means I also have their dog, Martin, and mom's hedgehog, Crowley. We currently have 7 animals in this apartment. Seven. It's a very full house over here.

Mabel, the honeymoon hog.

Rebel, Jixer and Martin helping me with business stuff

Crowley, Mom's hedgie

Ivy, my hog

Prim, my hog 

    - I'm really glad we got all that rain and everything but is anyone else totally over the bugs? I get eaten alive just taking the dogs out (granted it takes forever since now I'm taking out three dogs but still). ENOUGH WITH THE BUGS!

    - My mom has been gone for over three weeks. I kinda miss her a lot :(

    - Almost every day I come home for lunch. It's not usually a very eventful or interesting trip, except for today. When I walked up to my door there was a car seat sitting there. It was gone when I came back home from work but I found it very puzzling.

Woot-tastic

    - My best friend has been very exciting lately! She is now a stay at home mom AND she got a puppy! His name is Hendrick and I want him. He's very floppy and puppy-like. Sorry the photo is blurry. He was trying to play.

    - A while back a friend of ours gave us a wine fridge. The top part was over heating. Well one of the perks to living with a man, or at least my man, is he can fix things! So, now I have a working wine fridge. It's currently housing two bottles of wine and some vodka. I need to stock up. Any suggestions?

    - I've started back to making my own laundry soap again. Ryan had bought this giant thing of laundry soap from Costco and it FINALLY ran out (after like  a year) so I made my soap. I had forgotten how much I love the smell.

    - I love cooking. I don't love cooking as much after a very long, busy day at work. Unfortunately, my husband still demands food and I'm not so much fun when I'm hungry either. So, I prep EVERYTHING the night before. Everything that can be prepped gets prepped. The sides get seasoned if I can season them ahead of time, the meat gets put together, veggies get chopped and diced. It makes it much easier for me to come home on my lunch break and shove something in the crock pot or to throw it on the stove or in the oven when I get home. Easy peasy. Also, we eat A LOT of chicken. 

Sorry this week isn't a very interesting or eventful post. I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th Of July! Don't do anything too stupid!