Saturday, July 21, 2012

Things You Should Know If You Live in Texas

From heat to social misconceptions, there are all kinds of things that you should know if you live in Texas.

Things to know:
- The above sign telling people to drive friendly- "The Texas way" is a load of crap. We do not drive friendly. At all.
- If the speed limit says 45, everyone will be doing at least 50-55. Always. If someone is doing the speed limit they are obviously not from here.
- Always have a towel in your car. Not for spills but for safety. Especially if you have leather interior. With this Texas heat the leather will burn your legs. Sometimes my steering wheel gets so hot that I can't touch it.
- Give some time for the hot air to escape your car before getting in it. Open the door, put down the windows and wait.
- If it rains, ices or snows do yourself a favor and don't go anywhere. It tends to render Texas drivers incapable of driving.... either they over compensate and do WAY under the speed limit when it's just sprinkling outside or they don't compensate at all when the roads are covered in ice.
- Due to the small amounts of freezing conditions we receive in Texas, cities are never prepared when the roads ice over, which means EVERYTHING closes. One snowflake falls and Texas ceases to operate.
- It's not uncommon to be driving down the road and on one side is the neighborhood where a Dallas Cowboy's football player lives and on the other side is the ghetto.
- When house hunting, expect every house to have foundation issues. 
- We do not have dirt in Texas. We have "Texas clay", the cause of those foundation issues that you will inevitably have.
- It's not uncommon for it to be 77 degrees out 3 days before Christmas and then have ice on the roads on Christmas Eve. Never pack away your summer clothes, you will use them year round.
- It's not uncommon to see a farm smack dab in the middle of the city. Sheep, cows, horses, zebras, camels, and alpacas all reside within the Dallas City limits. And not necessarily in a zoo.
- Most people that live in and around Dallas are not actually from here and therefore most people do not walk around in cowboy hats and boots. Most people have probably never even touched a horse (this one does not apply to me. I've been riding since I was 5. But then, I wasn't born here :P).
- When driving on 635, there is no such thing as "rush hour traffic" there will always be a traffic jam. Even at 3am.
- Also, for the 17 years I have lived here I don't think there has been a time when 635 was NOT under construction.
- It really is true that most everyone in Texas drives a truck. We have the highest truck sales in the nation.
- When traveling to Mississippi (an 8hr trip) it takes about 4 hours just to get out of Texas. The joys of living in the 2nd largest state in the country.
- Braums is the best place for ice cream.
- Texas cannot actually secede from the union. Read here if you don't believe me.
- It is possible for it to be too hot to go swimming. Pretty much any time between late June and early September the pool will feel like bath water (sometimes that time period changes. You never know in Texas).

I'm sure there are other things that I am just so used to and am not really thinking of. While this list does have some amusing things on it, they are indeed all true.

That's my Southern Soapbox! PS. I'm sorry for missing this weeks Wonky and Woot-tastic, I hope this makes up for it a little bit!


  1. You forgot to put that Texas drivers can't drive in rain, ice or snow!!

  2. i added it! thanks! i also added that everything closes when it ices or snows lol